Song of Solomon 2:16
My love is mine, and I am his (NLT)
God thinks sex is awesome. So awesome that He decided to make it the only way that we bring new life into this world. No matter how much we may try to avoid the topic sometimes or treat it as taboo, there is no denying that how we view sex is critical. It is an integral part of our reality and a universal truth of human existence. I fear we don’t teach about it enough.
For my fellow Christians, I have a question: Do we want our children to learn about sex from the church or the world around them? I understand the awkwardness of having these conversations, and I understand the hesitancy to speak about it much at church, but it is essential. If we don’t teach our youth about sex, somebody else will. Who do you want them hearing about it from?
To do this, we ourselves must have a firm grasp on what the truth about sex is. A lot of us don’t know what to say. Our parents perhaps never said much themselves on the matter besides, “don’t do it.” Telling your kids not to do something is not going to stop them from doing it, plain and simple. The universal question of why they shouldn’t be doing it is much more important to express. Through that, you can help them craft a worldview where they view sex with the reverence, respect, and beauty that it deserves.
Do you even know what the Bible says the truth about sex is? Sex is an expression of the oneness in marriage: “and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one” (Mark 10:8, NLT). It is two people, who have made a life-long commitment to one another, expressing the image of God together and reflecting it more clearly. Think about it. Men and women are both different, but both have the image of God within them. What happens when they join as one? They reflect that image more fully! Sex in marriage is a physical expression of this truth. We find power in living out truth in a physical way. That’s what we do in worship. We are acting out our faith in a physical way, praising God with our bodies. Isn’t sex the same way? So think of it as an act of worship to God.
In contrast to this, the world promotes sex as a pleasure, something we can indulge in with whoever we want. Millions of TV shows, movies, magazines, etc. promote it as far, far less than what it truly is. This is what our youth is seeing and what is shaping their perception of sex. They are being robbed of seeing the true value, the true fulfillment, and the true significance that it holds. That’s why so many grow up ending up very hurt in their relationships and struggling to ever find lasting happiness in love.
What God wants us to find in sex is lifelong love, security, and fulfillment. God wants to shape our minds to see sex as a complete giving of one’s self to their spouse, and the receiving of the other in return. It is a beautiful way to say, “I give myself up to live for you” while your spouse says the same. It can serve as a reminder of how to live this out in our everyday lives as well, putting the needs of your spouse before your own. That’s why the Bible says, “Do not deprive each other of sexual relations” (1 Corinthians 7:5). It’s a gentle nudge to focus on the needs of your spouse before your own. It is a reminder to continually return to the love that sparked your relationship in the first place. It helps us never to forget that sex is not only an act of receiving but also of giving. This mutual giving and receiving serves to strengthen our bonds with our spouse.
I challenge you to ask God to reshape the way that you view sex and help to teach you how to express it healthily so that we can educate each other and our youth as the church. Let us together remind the world of the true value that sex holds, instead of diminishing its worth so greatly.
Note: if you like what you read, check out these other articles on love and marriage!